Born to Make Who Happy?

In my class’s reading for this week in Reading Lolita in Tehran, one passage particularly stuck out to me. One of Nafisi’s students, Sanaz, will soon be traveling to Turkey to marry her fiancé, who she has not seen in over six years. Sanaz, while excited, is also quite anxious. Nafisi comments: “It was hard to tell if she was going to Turkey to please the others [ex. her fiancé, her family] or because she was really in love” (263).

This caught my eye because this past weekend, I began reading Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls. The book was recommended to me by a classmate (check out her blog here!), and so far it’s been very illuminating on the current problematic state of young women and how they came to be this way.

Mary Pipher, the author, introduces the book by explaining many of the possible root causes for adolescent insecurity and negative decisions. She explains that in the transition from girlhood to womanhood, “Girls become ‘female impersonators’ who fit their whole selves into small, crowded places… [they] stop thinking, ‘Who am I? What do I want?’ and start thinking, ‘What must I do to please others?’” (22).

I was startled by the parallel in these two situations. The uncomfortable phenomenon of teenager girls learning to put others before themselves is replicated in the lives of these Iranian women. I believe that this emotion in both situations is caused by the culture they grow up in. After the revolution in Iran, “women, under law, were considered to have half the worth of men” (Nafisi 261). To put this in another cultural perspective, in antebellum America, slaves were counted as 3/5 of a white person in a population census. In this patriarchal society, women were worth less than slaves, and therefore could be imbued with the belief that their only value was in pleasing those around them.

This might seem difficult to connect to in modern America, where we claim to have equal rights for all. On the radio this weekend, I heard a song (which I can‘t seem to find the name of) but to paraphrase, it consisted of a woman explaining how she only felt happy when she was making her man happy. I mentally shook my head in disgust. The song had to be about 50 years old, and I couldn’t imagine that message reverberating with any modern audience. Yet to my surprise, I discovered that everyone’s favorite ex-pop idol, Britney Spears released a song in the late 1990’s entitled, “Born to Make You Happy”. I think you can guess what it’s about.

While I don’t believe this is the prevailing mindset of most educated women AT ALL, it is a pressure that can be dangerous if left to run rampant, as seen in Pipher‘s conclusions. I look forward to continuing both of these books to understand more about developing identities amidst the adverse conditions that can be found in many different forms, all over the world.

Shedding Light on Depression, at Home and Abroad

My English class began a new book entitled Reading Lolita in Tehran, chronicling the factual experiences of a modern Iranian woman, Azar Nafisi and the struggles she undergoes trying to teach American literature within the oppressive Islamic Republic of Tehran. From our reading so far, I’ve learned about the hardship faced by the Iranian civilians, and I’ve been appalled at what they’ve had to endure.

One passage was extremely poignant to me. After being expelled from the University of Tehran because she refused to wear the veil, Nafisi became increasingly disenchanted with the world around her. She imagined herself to be invisible, and contemplated her existence. Nafisi felt isolated from her husband, who had kept his job, and “had lost all concept of terms such as home, service and country” (169). In her own words, she became irrelevant. While Nafisi was not diagnosed with major depressive disorder or any psychological problem, her reaction to the loss of her vocation reminded me of the danger of irrelevancy and depression, especially in regards to teenagers.

Adolescence is a trying time. It seems to me that we are in an unfortunate conundrum: we think we’re adults, yet still treated like children in many ways. On our bad days, it seems like our voices can’t be heard amidst the din of society. I would diagnose us with the same ailment as Nafisi: in many ways, we are irrelevant.

Most teens cope, but some become depressed and feel “despair and a lack of hope for the future”. This depression can affect them so terribly that they feel no choice but to take their own lives. According to this excellent online presentation, “teen suicide is a fairly modern tragedy”.

It seems that depression (and consequently, suicide) is an unavoidable predicament in Iranian society, for teenagers as well as adults. This 2005 study found that 71% of Iranian teenagers had some degree of depression, noting that teenage girls were twice as likely to suffer. In many cases, these girls were victims of sexual exploitation and abuse. As we learned in Reading Lolita in Tehran, it is also very likely that they have been severely oppressed and abused by the regime, and even possibly arrested for crimes they did not commit. Suicide rates have also risen drastically in the past twenty years. In 2006, it was determined to be the second leading cause of death in Iran, with higher rates among women than men. (For more information, check out this link)

Depression can be triggered by unexpected, stressful life events, as seen in Nafisi’s case with the loss of her job or, more commonly with teenagers, the death of a loved one or parental divorce. It can also be caused by years of dehumanizing abuse, demonstrated those under the oppressive regime in Iran and teens who were abused as children.

I believe it is incredibly important to shed light on these issues that often get overlooked. A lot of media coverage is focused on breaking news and problems in troubled areas, rather than the human conditions in those places. By recognizing personal struggles abroad as well as in our own backyards, I hope we can feel empathy and make a deeper connection to all members of the human race.

If you or any loved one is suffering from depression, please do not hesitate to get help. There are many wonderful sources, many anonymous (such as save.org and online forums such as this that offer support as well as success stories), that save lives. You are not alone.

(graphic: Period of Darkness by jenniholma )

The Gift of Gratitude

In the past two weeks, I’ve experienced a time of great tragedy juxtaposed with a time of celebration. It’s been trying and tough, but it’s shown me the unpredictability of life. I cried and I laughed. I mourned a death and I met a new baby. Above all else, I remembered the importance of family.

I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that teenage lives are hectic. We are incredibly occupied with our own lives, and friends, and all the other minutiae of life. Some would even say we are the busiest generation. We make time for school, extracurriculars, homework and friends, but family can often get lost in the shuffle. I know personally, aside from brief family dinners, sometimes I don’t even communicate with my immediate family every day. My extended family is mainly situated out of state, so I really only see them a few times a year. I look forward to our reunions, but usually not extremely enthusiastically.

But this time, when I was with my family, I appreciated it more than I ever have before. My grandmother passed away on November 17th, and seeing the throngs of people who convened to celebrate her life really reminded me of that never-fail support system we take for granted: our families.

In the following days, I tried to get as much as possible of my time with relatives. I discussed the Vietnam war with a older cousin. I took a walk along a river with my grandma and uncles. I played with the afore mentioned baby and couldn’t help but break into a grin when she grasped my finger. Maybe it was just the holiday spirit, but I felt incredibly thankful for these moments.

So while these upcoming holiday season offers us teens the temptation to hole up with a book or a laptop, relax while playing some festive tunes, or meet friends at Starbucks for a seasonal drink in one of those cute red cups, instead, use this happy, uncluttered time to spend time with those who matter most. Take a younger cousin out for sledding and hot chocolate, or spend an afternoon decorating a Christmas tree with the grandparents. This holiday season, spending time with family might be the best gift you can give.

The Implications of Adolescence

In a previous post, I discussed the concept of childhood as a recent innovation. Then, I started thinking: if the tradition of “childhood” hasn’t been around for very long, then how newfangled is the idea of “adolescence”? And what are the implications of specifically defining this period on those individuals that currently reside in it?

According to Merriam-Webster dictionary, adolescence refers to, “the state or process of growing up” or “the period of life from puberty to maturity terminating legally at the age of majority”. It is generally accepted to be the ages between 13 and 19. According to that dictionary, the word was first used in the 15th cenury, but psychologist Granville Stanley Hall is usually credited with the “discovery” of the phase of adolescence in 1904. He asserted that the phase was significant because “adolescents' adaptability might provide the jumping-off point for the fulfillment of human potential and evolutionary advancement”.

Hall was eerily accurate. Researchers have made vast strides in understanding this phase of human development and many studies show how occurrences during adolescence affect all of an individual’s life. It’s clear that having a well-rounded adolescence promotes a healthy transition into a well-adjusted adulthood, but problems during that time can also heavily impact the rest of one’s life. One example of this can be seen in this recent study that suggests that teenage obesity increases the risk of being morbidly obese in maturity, implying severe health complications that only worsen with age.

In another study, researchers found that alcohol and marijuana usage in adolescence causes frontal lobe brain developmental delay and damage, associated with a decrease in attention and executive function and memory performance. Since the young adult mind is flexible and still developing, abstaining from substance abuse could reverse the situation, but if not stopped, damage could be permanent. I don’t want to sound preachy, as I am definitely guilty of assuming the “teenagers are invincible” mentality on occasion, but overall, we need to realize that the effects of our actions have long term consequences.

Adolescence, like childhood, is a time of growth but we have much less restrictions. I know personally how vastly different this stage in my life is compared to my childhood, and it seems like everyone around me knows it, too. Teachers don’t hold our hands anymore and walk us through our curriculum, but we still have parental curfews. We have car keys and jobs, but we still have to be home every night for dinner. As adolescents, we have a unique identity that still gives us structure, but in order to mature into successful adults, we must be make good decisions about the new freedoms we possess.

The Great Debate

Recently, I attended a congressional debate hosted at Glenbrook South High School between Robert Dold and Dan Seals. I heard about the debate in my social studies class, where our teacher strongly encouraged us to go for the sake of educating ourselves about our local politics and being involved in our historic democratic tradition (a.k.a. we would not be receiving any extra credit for attending). I decided to go because, like many of my classmates, I had never been to anything like it before. I’m not excessively interested in politics, but I’m beginning to see the importance of keeping up to date with current events.

The debate itself definitely exceeded my expectations. I prepared to be bored and confused, and happily, I was neither. Remarks were short and snappy, and clear enough that without any real prior knowledge of the candidates, I understood what was going on. I learned a lot about their views, but one of the things that struck me most was how catty and manipulative a professional political debate could be.

Immediately at the introductions, I noticed each candidate’s attempts to woo the audience, citing their accomplishments. I thought it was particularly amusing that Dold identified himself as a Boy Scout and Scoutmaster, titles which imply trustworthiness and loyalty, as well as a slew of other positive adjectives as laid down in the Boy Scout Law. Soon after the opening statements, while discussing tax cuts, Dold referenced the American Dream and nationalism, appealing to the feel-good patriotic side of potential voters. Not to be outdone, Seals followed by quoting Abraham Lincoln when talking about education and the No Child Left Behind Act. By appealing to emotion, I think both candidates were attempting to promote positive American and de mocratic associations with their campaigns, rather than the typical negative connotations associated with crooked Illinois politics.

Yet as the debate went on, it just got dirtier and dirtier. The candidates progressed from subtle barbs to full-blown attacks on each other, and needless to say, I found it to be quite interesting. I understood that it’s normal to try to undermine the opponent in a debate, but I never thought it would be so blatant. It was so interesting how their bickering and pointing out of each others flaws reminded me of typical high school cattiness.

While I was entertained, the debate left me unsure of my views. Between all the contradictions and generalizations, I (as well as many other teens) didn’t get a truthful experience. Maybe it just requires experiences and learning to read between the lines to determine what the candidates are really saying, and which one really means what he or she says. If I were able to vote in this election, I would definitely research more about the candidates and maybe even attend other political events.

As a 17-year-old, I am still too young to make my voice really heard by voting, but I do think it is important for teens to be involved in politics at some level. At the same time, we need to take care to not take everything at face value. It would be a terrible idea to form an unwavering stance from a biased Opportunities like local debates (publicized in schools) with class discussions and programs like Rock the Vote are great ways to involve teenagers and begin to involve us in the democratic system on which our nation is founded.

For adults, when did you first start paying attention to politics? How did you get involved, and how do you think this has changed for current generations?

For adolescents, are you involved? Why do you care? I’m still trying to find my way in this messy business, so I would love some guidance. Thanks!

(To read more about the what the debate covered and another teen's view, click here.)

Childhood Across Cultures

For the past few weeks in my senior English class, we have been reading The Poisonwood Bible, by Barbara Kingsolver. The culture clash between American and Congolese customs throughout the novel is astonishing, but the difference that shocked me the most was the role of children in Congolese society.

When illustrating the experiences of the white, American Price family in the Congo, Kingsolver emphasizes the cultural difference in the stages of life between American/Western society and the Congolese. The character Leah comments, “It struck me what a wide world of difference there was between our sort of games… and [a native boy‘s]… I could see that the whole idea and business of Childhood was nothing guaranteed… [It is] invented by white people and stuck onto the front end of a grown-up life like a frill on a dress” (Kingsolver 114). This idea really stuck out in my mind.

I believe that in the culture we live in today, childhood is taken for granted, not considered a privilege. In the “uncivilized” (according to the Prices) Congo, a indulgent childhood without work is unimaginable.

In this article, the concept of childhood as a modern creation is debated. While I agree with the claims that the stage of childhood is a modernized idea, I also agree with another scholar’s view that children have always been appreciated, regardless of their official role in society.

While the article cites historical examples, this can be clearly seen by looking at any newborn bonding with it’s mother in the hospital, familial animal interactions in a zoo or in nature, and even in The Poisonwood Bible. In the novel, two characters discuss the death of children, and Leah asserts, "Children should never die," and Anatole, a Congolese native, responds, "No. But if they never did, children would not be so precious" (Kingsolver 231). This showed me that even across cultures, where children might play substantially different roles, they are still valued and loved.

As a teen growing up in an affluent community, I have witnessed the extremes of child-nurturing: private, expensive day cares, excessive amounts of educational toys, and constant advertisements for programs to teach your baby to read before they even start crawling! While I don’t have personal experience regarding the type of childhood of places like the Congo, from what I understand, children are loved in both situations, but both extremes can be unhealthy. By learning from these examples, I hope my generation can learn to find a happy medium for our future posterity.

Myth for the Modern Mind

I am a pretty big theatre aficionado. When I discovered two of my camp friends were in Deerfield High School’s fall play, I jumped at the chance to see it. I knew absolutely nothing about the show itself, and I walked out of the theatre in awe. The play, Metamorphoses, brought ancient Greek and Roman mythology to life in a way I had never seen before. It was composed of a series of vignettes that each told a myth. Yet they weren’t stuffy, dry, or overly narrative; the script had modern twists and put a fresh perspective on the archaic tales. I couldn’t stop raving about the show to my friends and thinking about it in my free time.

I was surprised by how much I connected with the stories of young love, betrayal, and loss; seeing the raw emotions live on stage was breathtaking. I especially loved the gritty, tragic tale of Erysichthon and the love story of Eros and Psyche. It kindled my interest in ancient myth, as well as how teens relate to narratives as they try to compose their own. At the start of the year, we focused on personal myths and narrative, and this show struck me as an amazing (almost destined?) vehicle to connect adolescent life with the myths of our past. Why do we still retell the stories that have been scientifically proven as outdated? And how can this help us shape our lives today?

I asked my friend, Nathan, a senior, to elaborate on his experience in the show, and his answers were extremely enlightening to me. He explained to me that, “being in Metamorphoses made [the cast] more aware of the importance of oral tradition and history… When I see these stories come up again in my lifetime, which I am sure they will, I will know the connection that they have to everyday life”. This reminded me of a concept we discussed in class, hearing “bells”, or noticing important characters from classic literature (such as the Bible or myths) in other literature to understand the material thoroughly.

Being in the play showed the adolescent cast how powerful and relevant ancient myths can be. He said, “The audiences were moved... people would not have felt connected if they did not sympathize with the characters and find similar events in their own lives. As much as mythology is ancient, it is also contemporary and captures the imagination with its beauty and elegance in storytelling.” After seeing the show for myself, I couldn‘t agree more.

By studying these stories, we can learn to tell our own stories more effectively. Not everyone can see something like Metamorphoses, but myths should still be more widely taught in a more relevant way. A book published last year, Mythology for Teens: Classic Myths in Today's World, is specifically written to be used in high school humanities courses in order to engage students in mythology. This seems like it would be a great source for teachers use at the start of a class to instill “bells” and exemplify writing that has lasted centuries.

Losing My Religion

Some of us are brought up with religion crammed down our throats, while others are raised with a much more lax, pick-and-choose version of a faith; yet during the teen years, many begin to question their views on religion. This questioning is a normal part of maturing, but it seems that currently, adults are concerned that teens are questioning “too much”, abandoning the faith entirely, or practicing an “unacceptable” version of said faith.

One author that’s made quite an impact in this field is Kenda Creasy Dean, who has written multiple books regarding teens and religion, and her recent claims in her newest book about teens following a “fake” or “watered-down” form of Christianity outraged many. She says that teens are inarticulate about their faith, see God as a “divine therapist” and only take away certain values, such as kindness, while ignoring more trying values, like sacrifice. Dean calls this a “mutant” form of Christianity; however, I think Bonny Erbe sums up the most eloquent argument to this claim: “All religions are ‘mutant’ in some way, shape or form in that people use religion to satisfy their personal needs. Since just about every person puts his or her individual take on God, then it follows that every person’s version… is slightly different from everyone else’s.” Part of the beauty of religion is it’s adaptability to find a niche in every person’s life.

That says, that should only apply to those people who want religion in their lives. By stating that religious teens achieve more in school, have better relationships and take less unhealthy risks, Dean implies that all teens should be religious. Yet does that seemingly better life come specifically come from believing in the Lord Jesus Christ, or does it just come from having something to believe in? Can’t that same sense of self be found in a cohesive life narrative, or a passion for music, or community service, or a number of other outlets?

While many adults have shared their views, it’s definitely important to examine this view from the perspective of the teens affected. For me personally, I am pretty secular and I haven’t really decided how I feel about religion. My life is way too hectic to deeply soul-search for a connection with God, and I think the extent to which a teen follows a religion should be his or her own choice.

However, one teen takes a very strong stance against Dean‘s argument, and asserts that the reason for teens becoming disenchanted with religion is simply because “[Churches] are boring… [Parents] forced religion upon the kid from birth and now the teenager is rebelling from the impressionable kid he used to be”. He brings up points that the technological revolution as well as the most dire problems of the world have made teens less interested and more apathetic about religion. I think these are interesting statements, and I definitely see how the availability of mass media, which allows the spread of information about horrible topics, such as "war, death, poverty, murder, rape, assault, theft, nuclear threats", can cause teens with or without a strong religious foundation to question the existence of God.

I really agree with his final advice for trying to get teens interested in religion, and to paraphrase, “Leave us alone”. Don’t push us into something we aren’t fully comfortable believing in, causing us to practice a religion without putting any heart in it. Give us the mature opportunity to explore our faith on our own time.

For futher exploration:

'Forget the pizza parties', Teens tell churches

Holland vs. America: Teens, Sex and Pregnancy

(from the view of an atheist, how conservative Christianity in America is harmful to teen health)

How Religion Increases Depression in Teens

How to Get Catholic Teens to Read the Bible

(a book review of a new recently published edition of the Bible that is supposedly "teen-friendly")

The Greatest Years of Our Lives

Adults look back on their teen years with nostalgia. Younger kids look forward to the day they set foot in the big, grown-up high school and acquire new privileges like driving and later curfews. These are the greatest years of our lives.

So why is being a teenager so impossible?

My name is Jenna Stoehr. I am a teenager, and I am currently trying to figure out my place in the world. As a senior in high school, I think I can say that I’ve had quite a lot of face-to-face contact with my colleagues struggling through this difficult time. I’ve heard, seen and even experienced problems ranging from choir auditions to college admissions to getting a date for the Homecoming dance. Life isn’t easy, but sometimes it seems like teens get the worst of it; we’re too old to be coddled and given a hand to hold, but too young to enjoy the full freedoms of adulthood.

While I understand many of the more superficial problems of teens and the emotional struggles in everyday life, I would like to explore the teenage perspective on current global issues and literary ideas, as well as the role of teens in society.

I hope that this blog will be a learning experience for my readers as well as myself. I do not consider myself a grade-addicted brainiac, despite my rigorous class schedule. I am a relatively well-adjusted teen who enjoys many normal teenage things: hanging out with friends, listening to music, procrastinating on homework, etc. Yet I also have a somewhat intellectual side, and I think I can use a combination of my social teen experiences and academic spirit to make some new insights about life and the teenage mind.